28 February 2017

You think, 'Here's something I can hold on to,' but it always slips away.


I've been pondering whether I should post this blog or not. To be honest, I've been lost in my mind. It's pretty full. Full of shit. I figured that this post could be a good thing. Cathartic in a way. I also thought it might somehow help someone. Help someone who could be thinking and feeling the same things as me. Sadly, most of us have gone through life. Life has ups and downs. Sometimes, life gives you lemons. And this time, it left a bitter taste.

I'm a big lover of life. I always do my best to appreciate how lucky I am. I'm pretty darn lucky. I have a home, a devilish cat, a job I love and people who care about me. I don't think it gets better than that, does it?

However, I have grown mad at life. Don't get me wrong, I still get amazed by all the little things life brings but there is something about that rotten lemon, I cannot move past. I cannot process and adjust. I cannot wrap my mind around this rotten thing.


I guess this is the moment to stop eluding the subject. God knows, I'm direct. Sometimes, too blunt. On the other hand, this time, it's not easy. I really want to let people know they are not alone in this. I want to know that I'm not alone. Oh boy, how this hurts. It comes in waves and never stops.

Why? One may ask. I will let you on a little secret, my lovebirds...

I have lost my moon. I have lost my strength. I have lost a part of my life. A part of me died with her. I love her to the moon and miss her beyond the stars. She has made me a better person. She raised me. She made me who I'm and I will never be as good as she was. She was the kindest, smartest and most big-hearted person I will ever know.

With her by my side, I would never feel alone. She would always be there to catch me. She always had my back. She was more than a grandmother, she was my mother. She was my role model. She has helpt so many souls. I could not be more grateful. Grateful to have known and loved her. My life would have not been the same without her.

I'm not sure if anyone can understand. If you do, you probably felt the same way. That little crack inside. You have to hold your breath for a second. You want to press pause. You want to stop for a while. You cannot think of a world without her - or him.

And yet, you have to. This is only part of life. Life ends sometimes. There is nothing we can do.



As she would say : LA VITA VA AVANTI.


So this blog is an homage to my Italian blood but also to anyone who might be heart-broken too. Life sometimes gives you some very bitter lemons.

We have all lost something dear to our hearts. We have all been there... So when you're about to break, just know, that I'm here and I understand.



Life is simply like that. Things slip away and nothing lasts. So we might as well enjoy it while we still can.

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