3 ways to start caring less and not become an asshole

8 August 2018

Hello my lovebirds,

I hope all is well.

I'm someone who tends to take things at heart. I get involve and I care too easily. I feel too deeply. I understand too much. I tend to have too much empathy - more often than so for people I shouldn't feel for. I don't know when it all happened but I've grown accustomed to taking someone's pain as my own. It can be quite devastating. Over the years, I have managed to keep my emotions on check somehow by accepting and doing 3 things.

#1 Perfection doesn't exist

This one is something we've all struggled with. Society and movies keep telling us to push further. To give it our best, to achieve perfection on our way to the top. The truth is perfection doesn't exist and it would be boring if it did. Life is messy. It doesn't always go your way. No matter how much you try to fix something, some things cannot be mended. You have to accept that people, life and things are not perfect. Nothing is black or white. You might have failed today but you can still succeed tomorrow. You can always do better. Nothing is set. Everything changes.

#2 'No' is always an option

For the longest time, I was one of those people who would agree to do things they didn't want to do. I would say 'yes' simply to please someone. I have a tendecy to put myself last. I have this crazy habit of considering others before me. I'm working on it. I'm working on learning that saying 'no' is okay. You can choose yourself. You don't have to hurt someone else in the process either. You can be direct and decide what your priority is. Your choices define who you are so don't do something for the sake of it! Oh and remember that people always leave and in the end, you only have yourself. Don't loose yourself trying to please someone else.

#3 Start a fuck budget

I read the book The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k and it was amazing. I've grown into someone who doesn't give too much fuck to people who don't deserve one second of my time. Life is too short to give fucks to things or people who don't deserve it. Now, before deciding on doing or caring, I stop and take a second to ask myself : 'would this person do the same thing for me? Does this bring me joy? Does it sit right with me? Does it improve my life or the life of someone I love?' If the answer is no then I'm taking a step back and leaving for the next chapter.

Do you have any experience or thoughts to share with us?

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